Someone suggested that I expound on what it means to me to be BB’s little pet. Perhaps the more accurate question is what it would mean if I could be his pet. After all, I’m really not his pet now. I might never be his pet if it’s not what he wants.
In the interests of full disclosure, I think it would be some combination of his babygirl/little princess and his pet (meow 🐾). For simplicity’s sake, I will refer hereafter to pet but I mean all of the foregoing.
I think the heart of the issue is I want to be his completely. If I could be his pet I would be free to express all of me to him. I would be vulnerable and allow myself to love him the way I have I think subconsciously avoided doing all these years for fear of loving too much; having too much to lose. As his pet the real me could bubble to the surface and in my dreams he would express his love for me back as my Daddy, strict and adoring. Here’s the rub, though. He does love me. He loves me ferociously and deeply. I know this. I just don’t know that he wants to express it the same way I do. To his credit, he’s trying to get on board with “this”…
Every time we try to talk about this and I try to express how I feel and what I want, I end up crying. I just get overwhelmed and emotional. It’s insane and I’m sure I’m not helping.
For years I thought that kink was just sex. The only sex I wanted, to be sure. I mean literally the only thing that’s ever turned me on, ever. But in the past six months or so I learned what more it is and what I could be for me. D/s is a language, a manner of expressing oneself. And it somehow feels like unless I can express myself that way and unless BB reciprocates in the same manner that I’m in danger of losing out on something very important. Maybe I’m measuring myself against others or a D/s fantasy I’ve created. But to be his pet I would be
- Dominated (i.e. loved and protected)
- Free (but deliciously bound as much as possible)